MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP BOOKS
- After the Affair, Updated Second Edition: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful… (Spring, 2013)
- After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship (Wile, 1993)
- And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby (Gottman and Gottman, 2008)
- Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner (Daitch & Lorberbaum, 2012)
- Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On — Together or Apart (Snyder, Baucom and Gordon, 2007)
- Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition (Hendrix, 2007)
- Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Johnson, 2011)
- How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To (Spring, 2009)
- Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married Couple (Lerner, 2012)
- Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Your Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity (Glass, 2003)
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Gottman and Silver, 2004)
- Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t (Papernow, 2013)
- What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal (Gottman and Silver, 2012)
STRESS AND RELAXATION
Here are some resources that you might find of interest. Use your own judgment if you choose to pursue any of these resources—what is helpful to one person may not be a fit for you or your relationship.
- Belleruth Naparstek sells guided meditations for depression, stress, pain, post-traumatic stress, military personnel, and many other situations. Her website, Health Journeys, is a great place to find inexpensive and helpful guided imagery to train your brain.
- Calm Down: A Self-Help Program for Managing Anxiety: A CD by Michael Yapko for stress and anxiety reduction.
- Panic Attacks: Use this CD by Belleruth Naparstek to calm and center yourself. This is something to use at home, not when you are driving or need concentration!
- The Stress Answer: A hypnosis CD by Marc Schoen that you can purchase to help you lower your stress and potentially improve your overall health. This is something to use at home, not when you are driving or need concentration!
- Sleeping Soundly: A CD by Michael Yapko to help you understand insomnia and learn to use relaxation as a way to relax and sleep more soundly. This is something to use at home, not when you are driving or need concentration!
- Mindfulness for Beginners: A CD by Jon Kabat-Zinn that teaches the basics of mindfulness meditation. The link will take you to the audiobook at the Hennepin County Library if you’d like to order it for free.
- Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn on YouTube. Listen to Jon Kabat-Zinn and learn more about mindfulness and meditation.
- The Mindful Way Through Depression: This book by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn teaches mindfulness (a form of meditation) as a way to combat depression.
- Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief: Guided Practices for Reclaiming Your Body and Your Life (2010): A CD/audio download by Jon Kabat-Zinn that teaches mindfulness as a way to manage pain.
Local (Minnesota) Mindfulness Classes
- Compassionate Ocean Dharma Center
- University of Minnesota Center for Spirituality and Healing
- Seeds of Mindfulness (Judith Lies)
ODDS & ENDS
- The Greater Good in Action site comes from the University of California at Berkeley. They provide scientifically proven strategies for making life more meaningful and happy.
- Stress: Portrait of a Killer: A DVD by National Geographic featuring the work of Robert Sapolsky on the biology of stress and the specific ways it affects our health.
- Pregnancy and Postpartum Support MN: A resource for Minnesota moms who are having trouble with sadness, sleeping, feeling overwhelmed, having anxiety, or having troubling thoughts
- Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: A book by Robert Sapolsky (2004): A book on stress that will make you rethink how you are living and what stress is doing to your body and brain. The link will take you to the book at the Hennepin County Library if you’d like to order it for free.
- Maintaining Long Distance Relationships: A website recommended by a reader for those whose partners travel.
- Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence(Hanson, 2013)
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Brown, 2012)
- What is PTSD? Three Steps to Healing Trauma (Baranowsky, Lauer, 2012)
- Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears (Chodron, 2009)
There are a variety of resources to help you cope when your marriage or relationship is having problems. Couple therapy or marriage counseling is one of many good options. Don’t hesitate to use more than one strategy to address marital or couple concerns.
Here are some websites and community service agencies that you may find of value. Use your own judgment if you choose to pursue any of these resources—what is helpful to one person may not be a fit for your marriage or relationship.
- Depression screening: Here you will find the CESD-R which is an inventory to screen depression.
- The Gottman Institute: The Gottmans are nationally recognized researchers on couple concerns, marriage counseling, and relationship issues. Check out their blog and their website on sex.
- Mayo Clinic: The nationally known Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota has a website devoted to mental health issues. It includes couples and marital concerns such as infidelity.
- The Mayo Clinic Useful articles from the Mayo Clinic on topics such as depression, alcoholism, and mental health.
- MN Link A great Minnesota library search engine for those holding a Minnesota library card. Search for the book you can’t find throughout the entire Minnesota library system, and have it sent to your local library.
- The National Institute for Mental Health The National Insititute for Mental Health’s website is a robust resource of research, articles, and outreach opportunities covering a multitude of mental health conditions and topics.
- Prepare-Enrich.com: Creators of the Prepare, Enrich, and Mate Inventories. These inventories may be particularly helpful as one part of premarital preparation. Some people also choose to use the Enrich inventory as a part of marriage or couple counseling.
RELATED BLOG SITES
- Using EMDR Therapy to Overcome Grief https://www.theranest.com/blog/emdr-therapy-traumatic-grief/
- Divorce recovery (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) https://sasforwomen.com/divorce-recovery/
- 36 things to do if you’re thinking about divorce (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) https://sasforwomen.com/36-things-to-do-if-you-are-thinking-about-divorce/
- 46 steps to divorce recovery (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) https://sasforwomen.com/divorce-recovery/
- 5 reasons good people go bad in divorce – and how to prevent it from happing to you (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) http://www.prevention.com/sex/how-not-to-go-crazy-during-divorce
- Will the kids be all right – the long term impact of divorce on kids (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) https://sasforwomen.com/will-the-kids-be-all-right-long-term-effects-of-divorce-on-children/
- Divorce and Depression (Liza Caldwell SAS -Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce) https://sasforwomen.com/divorce-depression-look-cope/
- How do I know it’s time to seek counseling https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201709/should-you-go-couples-therapy
- Do I have to lose my identity to make this relationship work https://www.reconnectingcolumbus.com/deidres-blog/do-i-have-to-lose-my-identity-to-make-my-relationship-work
- 4 simple ways to energize your marriage https://www.reconnectingcolumbus.com/deidres-blog/4-simple-ways-to-energize-your-marriage
- Three signs you may need couples counseling 3 Signs You May Need Marriage Counseling
- Couples Communication – tricks for great couples communication https://goodrelationshipsblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/couple-communication/
- Couples Communication – strategies for difficult topics https://goodrelationshipsblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/communication-strategies-for-difficult-topics/
- 40 date night questions: https://www.care-clinics.com/40-date-night-questions-2/
- Emotionally Intelligent husbands https://www.care-clinics.com/emotionally-intelligent-husbands-are-key-to-a-lasting-marriage-2/
- what really happens in a therapy session https://www.care-clinics.com/what-really-happens-in-a-therapy-session/
- 20 enjoyable end-of-year questions https://www.care-clinics.com/20-enjoyable-end-of-year-review-questions/
- What is Discernment Counseling https://moderncommitment.com/discernment-counseling/
- Couples on the Brink https://moderncommitment.com/on-the-brink/
- Who to talk to and who not to talk to https://moderncommitment.com/who-to-talk-to-around-potential-divorce/?inf_contact_key=6662815df83eb57ce88
- Marriage isn’t over until its over https://moderncommitment.com/marriage-isnt-over-research-divorce-ambivalence/
- Regaining trust after infidelity https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/regaining-trust-after-infidelity/