Nurturing relationships are critical to our well-being. We all want to freely engage with our partners; to encourage and support each other to become our best selves; and be open to the good that exists in our relationships. But often, as we struggle to connect deeply with one another, we end up creating a world of hurt for ourselves and those we love. And that’s where Couples Counseling comes in.
A solid relationship is built on a foundation of respectful and compassionate communication that can be drawn upon as you seek healthy solutions to your problems. And whatever is causing those problems, you can be sure it’s far better to seek solutions together – and to do it sooner rather than later.
Couples Counseling can help you understand each others negative triggers, to read your partner’s signals and develop the skills you need to create and maintain the healthy nurturing relationship you deserve.
COUPLES COUNSELING CAN HELP REBUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Making the choice to seek therapy is often a scary first step that involves admitting things are not perfect in your partnership. Both partners must be willing to actively participate in addressing the issues and concerns that are preventing them from experiencing the relationship they want.
TEN COMMON REASONS TO SEEK COUPLES COUNSELING
Has the rhythm of your day-to-day life become increasingly conflict-oriented? Maybe they're just “small” arguments, or maybe the blowouts are huge, leaving increasingly more drama in their wake. Either way, the increasing pattern of conflict indicates significant problems under the surface that aren’t being dealt with.
One of the most common reasons for seeking couple therapy is a breach of trust stemming from infidelity in the form of a sexual or emotional affair; or a series of lies/deceptions. Rebuilding trust is always easier in a forum where both parties are free to express their vulnerability.
Maybe overt conflict is not a problem, but you constantly feel ignored or misunderstood. You don’t have a good understanding of what's happening with your partner emotionally; he or she might as well be a stranger. A skilled counselor can help you build the tools you need to improve the ways you connect, hear, and understand each other.
Couples therapy is useful not just for solving problems, but also for identifying them. You know something in the dynamics of your marriage has changed, but you just can’t put your finger on it. You’re not as comfortable with your partner as you used to be, or you find yourself chronically resentful, but you're not really sure why. These are early signs that your interactions are turning unhealthy or dysfunctional.
Sometimes the beauty of therapy starts with the room itself: a safe and supportive place for you to bring up things that are difficult to talk about in other settings. A trained professional with a warm presence can often help you overcome your fears of sharing something with your partner.
How a couple handles conflict is one of the best indicators of the health of their relationship. Maybe you or your partner shuts down, lashes out, gets vengeful, or passive-aggressive. Counseling is an excellent way to improve the communication and listening skills you need to strengthen the bond your relationship.
Sometimes the cruel double-whammy of a setback in life is that it’s not just the setback itself that hurts, but also the effect it has on a marriage or partnership. Keeping the bond strong in your relationship serves to unite you and give you additional strength to weather the storms that come.
There is no limit to the number of patterns that partners develop in day-to-day life. The longer a dysfunctional or dis-satisfying pattern sets in, however, the more energy and time it will take to change it. Best to start early.
Emotional intimacy is at the very core of our feeling safe. Compassionate communication and emotional intimacy are part of a reinforcing loop that feeds us in a way that deepens our connections with one another. A barrier to positive communication whether real or imagined; will eventually diminish, and ultimately eliminate any chance for emotional intimacy and the powerful connections it can foster. Often this fracture can only be repaired with the help of a therapist.
Physical intimacy, like emotional intimacy, is a reinforcing loop that deepens our connections. Physical intimacy is the strongest and straightest path to emotional intimacy, and vice versa. It’s not an issue of which comes first. Neither can grow without the other and each is diminished in the other’s absence.
Connect with me to find out more about how couples therapy can help you better understand yourself, strengthen your connection to each other, and build a relationship that can bring lasting, positive changes in your lives. We’ll schedule a free 30-minute consultation where I can answer any questions you might have, and see if we’re a good fit to help you both find your better selves.